RE: This is a Must See (M For Mystery)

I was watching the videos Maher posted in regard to الحلم العربي and the developments in the Arab world since that operette.

What went through my mind:

العرب ما أغباهم !@#$%

العرب ما عندهم القدرة على عمل أي شيء مهما أنتجوا فيديوهات
ما هي الغاية خلف إنتاج مغناة جديدة؟
هل هي لخلق اجيال ناقمة تسعى لتفجيرات جديدة؟
أم هي لإيقاظ ضمير ميت؟
إذا كان ضميرميت، فكن على علم بأن إيقاظه مستحيل؟
لا تقل لي "ليس هنالك متحيل
المستحيل هو رجوع فلسطين
التفكير العربي اللا منطقي هو سبب في الحالة الرجعية التي يعيشونها
نسبة الامية في البلاد العربية كبيرة جدا لاُمة تدعي بأنها كانت مركز العلم العالمي
في نفس الوقت نركز كل طاقتنا و مواردنا على رسومات في صحف دانيماركية عن رسول في غنى عن عربي غبي للدفاع عنه
نركز كل مواردنا على تعليم اطفلنا الكراهية
نستثمر طاقتنا في شجب و إستنكارو إعلان قلقنا
كأن قلقنا كان مصدر قلق غيرنا
في مشاهدة المغناة، لم أبكي، بل مليء قلبي الغضب على أُمةٍ حمقاء
أُمة حلمها مستحيل

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Qwaider, Stop messing with the planet....

Qwaider planet is going through some kind of a face lift. With hands backstage meddling with the look and feel of the Site.


Qwaider: It was just fine. Are you fixing the unbroken?

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Movie Review......."بعصة في الظلام " Rated: شوية سفالة

إخراج: مجحم الخريشة
تأليف: مقّلم الكتاتبة
تاريخ الاصدار: ٢٢ شباط ٢٠٠٨
نوّعية: دراما برلمانية
قصة و سيناريو و حوار: عبد الرؤوف الروابدة
بطولة:
مجحم الخريشة في دور الشاويش
عبد الهادي المجالي في دوربعصة
١٠٣ نوّاب في دور كومبارس
منسق مناظر: سعد هايل السرور
مكساج و إعداد: ضيف الله القلاب
إستشارة قانونية: عبد الكريم الدغمي
تصميم المضافة: مفلح الرحيمي

الافتتاحية:الشاويش يحاول ان يكسر الروتين بطريقة بطولية بحتة بلا علم بأن بعصة ممسكٌ على بيضتيه موشكٌ على فقسيهما

تم التصوير والانتاج في ستوديوهات البرلمان الاردني


تدور احداث الفلم المثير في اروقة و زواريب مضافة الشيخ بعصة.
حيث إعتاد بعصة على إدارة مضافته كأنها مجلس نوّاب. لكن كما تكشفُ وقاءع القصة بأنّ الشاويش قام بكشف الممارسات الساءدة واراد أن يظهر في الصحيفة اليومية بدون أن يكون المتهم بقضيٍٍٍة ٍ ما. ولكن شاءت الاقدار بأن الشيخ بعصة قد ملل كون مضافته هي الاُخرى تاءهةٌ عن الكواليس و محط الانظار فرأى ان يبعص الشاويش الّذي كان على أمل ان يُسند، بعصةًً ً تذكّرههٌ بأن المضافة مازالت و ستبقى بعيدةً عن أنظار الشاويشية أمثاله.

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What holds the Palestinians from announcing their State?????

My philosophy has been that if you don’t help yourself, then the hell with you! The question is, and in light of announcing the independence of Kosovo, the Palestinians should go ahead and do SOMETHING for god’s sake. If they keep complaining about the Israeli aggression, the Arabs not cooperating, and Hamas’ credibility, nothing is going to get done.

and you wonder how someones كيف becomes مبعوص

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من اطقع الكليبات الاردنية على يو توب Some of The Best Jordanian Clips on You Tube

دواوين شوفيرية التكاسي




سمعة ، موسى حجازين


سمعة بيعلم مرته سواقة




الحلم العربي، مصري بس تحشيش


محجوب بعد الغربة



على راسي، الحب من طرف واحد



امين مطالقه، صفّي صفّي

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مش ضد الفلسطينية، بس و بعدين معكم؟

يا اخي القضية صارلها بتجرجر من سنة الخشبة. اي واحد عنده مُخ رح يقلك إنو مافي ارض ترجع ولا يحزنون.
anyways, it would take me a whole day to write this post in Arabic.

for the following reasons, the Palestinian Issue has been a drag on development in the Arab world and specially in the Middle East:

1. Investment is never going to come unless there are security assurances. With the present situation, the majority of investors feel instability is there to stay due to the unsolved conflict with Israel, which poses a risk to anybody dealing with them.
2. Tourists are not going to travel to Jordan, for example, as much as they would to France or the Canary Islands. Although Jordan has far more history and natural touristic sites.
3. If investment is absent, then governments will not feel the heat to reform and combat corruption.
4. With the absent of international presence of various organizations and tourists from all over the world, Arabs are never going to change how they look at issues, such as womens' rights and freedom of expression.
5. talented Arabs will flee their countries because of such corruption and limitations on freedoms.
6. the conflict is driving some people to go fundamental and explode themselves along other innocent people, while others will detach themselves from the religion all together and spend their days in the streets.
   
7. Jordan will never release its PROVEN-by-many-accounts oil reserves. Since, reportedly, if done so, Palestinians will never leave and Israel will be more in favor of Settling them forever in Jordan.
   
8. غص بالكوا سمّيتو بدني على ساعت هالمسا
   

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6 Before 18----------------------------- (Jeedo, You are tagged!!)

No, nobody tagged me. But, I am doing this so I can tag Jeedo. That poor girl is pregnant and all, but nobody cared to get her to share her "wisdom." I will do it.

You know the rules:

• Post these rules before presenting your list.
• List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.
• There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.
• At the end of your blog, choose 6 people to get tagged and list their names.
• People who are tagged write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.
• Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

My Six or more

1. Buy a pack of cigarettes and sell it فرط. It is good business.
   
2. Form a gang at school. it improves your reputation and scares away losers and nerds.
3. beat up a school teacher. you will be worshiped by your fellow students.
4. This time of year is cats mating season. So, go out and watch cat porno totally free!
5. learn how to use a موس كباس and how to hit someone with شفرتين together (with a coin in between them so the wound heals leaving a huge scar)
6. at Friday's prayers (I know you don't pray) steal nice pairs of shoes at the entrance and sell them at سوق الجورة
   
7. organize a football tournament (دوري حارات ) collect money from each team to buy a trophy and medals and run away with the money.
8. try all pick up lines with girls such as
   
1. يا عيسى
   
2. يا ريتني بنطلون ضييق
3. اموت بالمصاصات انا
4. ايش ها الطعجة يا نعجة
9. write a poem to a girl that goes along these lines : لو عرف النحل طعم شفتيكي لترك الزهر و طار إليكي
   
10. بصبص على بنت الجيران
11. Go out in those marches to check out girls
12. If in Aqaba, try to sneak into the Hotel's beaches. You know, where the hot tourists are.
13. Steal something big. Stealing is bad. But, do it so you can enjoy the experience of sleeping one night in jail. it is totally worth it and very educational.

Thats it for now. I won't tag anybody else because you people are more boring than نشرة اخبار الساعة ٨

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تبلجلج او ما تبلجلجش؟ Do I have to be a Nice blogger?

I know many of you blog for the sake of expressing your feelings about the warm you stepped on the other day or the cat that gave you a mean look this morning. Others might be blogging about how their little nephew's boogers are so cute, while others blog for the sake of annoying everybody else.
Since most of you might think I subscribe to the latter group, I would like to disagree. I don't give a rat's ass who gets annoyed by what I write. I blog to tease people not annoy them. If you have the tiniest amount of self esteem, you should be able to withstand a humorous comment or two about the crap you fill your blog with.

I am hereby declaring the end of the nice period of mab3oos.

بدي العن اساس اليوم اللي فكرتوا إنكم تبلجلجوا

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Funny schizophrenic Jordanians and Sexual Topics

Almost 100 page views to the previous post (Jordanian Sex Positions) and not a single comment. I guess nobody wanted to admit clicking on the link in hope of a feast of sexually explicit images. Funny schizophrenic Jordanians... They pretend to be virtuous and attack you if you say the wrong thing, then come running after the smell of sex...

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Jordanain Sex Positions

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Jordanian Patented Erectile Dysfunction Compound !!!!!!!!!!!!

Link

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When You Sleep, Where Do Your Fingers Go?????????

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Jordanians and Valentines Day مفلتن ولا لا؟؟

One Word: Funny.

I remember that day in high school when my friends and I would go out wearing all red. Of course there were no girl friends to celebrate with, but anyways, red was it and girls were on the other side of the street.

I did have a girl friend. But we never talked. Her name was نُهى نُهى would be across the street with her girl friends whispering and chuckling and we would look at our feet trying to exercise our ankles. No red roses, letters, nor gifts. you would go home later and my mom would offer dinner. I would say no thanks, I am not hungry, with a long exhale. It was the first love... A love that I look back at and wonder, how come I was a good kid. I look back and smile. At the appearance of the scene and the conversations that took place the next day:
اه والله كنت مفلتن إمبارح ما كنت فاضي

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you write a sentence about Tawjihi and get flooded with traffic

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مهند العربيات خرج و لم يعد

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How do you answer the tree in the forest question?

Does it make noise if it falls??

I would say of course it does. I believe the answer to this question leads to how open minded of a person you are. let say that you are being told, for the first time, that the earth is round. Now, you can't take yourself out into the sky to make sure that it is true. But, with an open mind, and some concrete reasoning, you would agree. right? Therefore, yes, when a tree falls in the forest it does make noise. By not being present at the location at the time tree fell does not invalidate the fact that it did indeed make noise.

مش قلتلكم انا قرفان

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I miss my childhood. Old Old Kuwaiti Bank Commercial

بحر كبير و انا صغير
وما بعرف شو بدو يصير
بحر كبير و موجه رماني
تحت المي انا خللاني
شفت السمك في كل مكان
و الصدف اشكال اللوان
بحر كبير و انا صغير
واملي بجاءزة التوفير
صدفة كبيره يللي شفتها
و حبة لولو لما فتحتها
وحواليها ميت حبة صغيرة
حملت الصدفة لبيتي
صدفة الاردني الكويتي
صدفة كل سبع ايام
حءيءي مش بالمنام
كل شهر في سحب جديد
و سحب زيادِه للاطفال


how about that?!

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Tawjihi results and Privacy Protection

I don't understand why anybody can access the Tawjihi results. If you go to the website announcing the results, and by punching in any 5 digit number, you get the name of the student, his/her subjects, and all the scores with a descriptions of weather the student passed, failed, or showed up.

that is a violation of privacy, not to mention that most of those students are still considered minors. It's so big of a violation that I am going to embrace it and condone it!

إبحث برقم الجلوس

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إللي بيحزر، إلو جائزة!!! Answer to Win a Valuable Prize!!!!!!!!

مجلة بلا صفحات، ما هي؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟



hint: اخي المستمع، إقلب الصفحة...


*only for 18 and over. void where prohibited. Prize will be announced later. Submit your suggestions for a Valuable Prize (Sentimental value of course)

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mab3oosNN, The Most Trusted Name In News! (the Survey Results)

Maputo, وكالات ، After a long and hard fought elections, with a huge turn out reported on the eve of the survey of the century, ballot counting has finished and it was a clear testament of the Change people want.
Jews were voted as the ones most likely to be messing things up and were asked to leave the world to some other "promised" planet. Arabs: don't get your hopes too high, you were close second in the choice (Both) after Jews alone.
Then it appeared that voters were setting aside nationalistic feelings when voting by asking for South Africans to be kicked out, although Jordanians were the second best option, to be kicked out, that is.
Cementing his Unpopularity all over the Internet, Qwaider remained the choice the public preferred to hit the road and shut down his political offices, AKA Blog. However, Asoom, with 26% of the vote, was close second.
It is clear now, after all the crap we had to endure during the latest and ONLY freakin' snow storm (Sprinkle) in Jordan that people would rather not hear anything related to weather in Jordan. بالعربي، فتحتو خزق براسنا .
Starbucks was the most hated thing on the whole ballot, generating 89% of the vote in favor of closing shop.
On a different note, Women drivers (If you still want to call them Drivers!) were given the boot. Asked by the majority to park their cars at the closest convenience and leave the planet. I would suggest to a Car-less planet, because we ain't acceptin' no bad-driving refugees.
And in a vivid display of emotions, voters opted to get rid of both: the parliament and the government in Jordan:


Lastly, and the public have been calling for this a lot lately, mab3oos is being demanded to Get Married. وا عجباه

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A Quick Survey, Only One minute of Your Time, I promise ولله العظيم بس دقيقه وحده

إضغط هون

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Why Smoking is Good For You... إسحبلك سجارة

1. You'll feel like a man. With a cigarette in you hand, you command more respect.
2. you will feel cool. يعني فايع
3. Smoking is encouraged. Specially if your boss or business partners are smokers.
4. If you are trying to get out of a conversation, just light up and the other person will move on. Unless s/he is a smoker. In that case, put it out in his/her face.
5. Research says that every cigarette will shorten your life by 10 minutes. After all, who wants to live miserably those last years with oxygen tubes, a cane, and noisy grandchildren.
6. also by the time you retire, there won't be any social security funds left.
7. ِِالبنات بحبو الشب إللي بدخن
8. Smoking lessens your appetite, which means less food to buy.
9. Following on #7, losing weight is easier.
10. A cigarette clams you down faster than a cup of tea.
11. It is good business to encourage your kids to get into. Buy them a pack, and have them sell it at school فرط

So, Smoke on my fellow bloggers, Smoke on...

تحذير: التدخين ما إلو سبب بالسرطان و امراض إلرءة و الشرايين. هاضا كلٌه مؤامرة من الحكومة على شان انه صاحب شركة إلمعسل بالاردن كان رءيس حكومة سابق.

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