Lebanese Government Explained

God bless Lebanese people. Throughout the years, they suffered at the hands of the French, the Ottomans, the Syrians, and the Israelis. They remain, however, the most fun loving people of the Middle East. But, so many wars and internal conflicts have driven many Lebanese people to leave to where prosperity is more guaranteed. At the moment, millions of them reside in countries the world over. The 10 that remained were able to draft a governing law that mirrors the various religious groups they represent.

Therefore, the government in Lebanon is based on the following:

• The president is chosen by the parliament. S/he has to be Maronite Christian of Sunni-Shia parents and has had Druz neighbors. However, to be considered for the presidency, the candidate must also be BFF with Syria and fluent in French and Arabic of the حبيب ألبي type.
  
• The prime minister must be a Purebred Sunni. That is having Sunni Parents, All friends must be Sunni and النسايب must all be Sunni. In addition, s/he must have been a Saudi pet in current or past incarnations. As a Sunni, also the candidate must be looooooaded.
• The Speaker of the parliament must be Shia and scary looking (i.e. وِجّو متل ورئة النعوة). Good looking Shia are shunned and usually are chastised by the other 9 Lebanese for being sissy. Must also be male, has a beard from here to there, and to have never ever had an association with a frère. Another crucial condition: the speaker must be a follower of Khomeni on Twitter.

There you have it. A country with a great process of sharing power. However, when you have so many groups vying for it, greed follows:

اذا بدّك تخرب بلاد، ادْعي عليها بكتر الرؤسا