نادي طريف announces the first annual "le tour de Jordanie"

to capitalize on the publicity of the tour de France, and to encourage Jordan's youth to participate in sports and sporting events away from the politically charged football, نادي طريف, the pioneering cycling sports club in the kingdom, announced the creation of an annual cycling competition to take place in the country.

• race will be 3 kilometers long from gate #5 at the Sports City and ends at Firas Circle
  
• maximum of 3 smoking breaks allowed
• vendors at every 500 meters interval will be available to offer refreshments, such as cigarettes, قهوة سادة، and سحلب
• plastic cups between frame and rear wheel (making bike sound like a motorcycle) are prohibited
• colored sponges inserted between wheel spokes are prohibited
• handlebar tassels are only allowed on bikes carrying children
• One rider per bike. those sitting on top tube part of the frame will be automatically disqualified
  
• no drifting, wheelies, excessive use of bell/horn, or deliberate crashes will be tolerated
• 7afartali males are required to maintain a 10 meters distance from all females. Cool males, however, are encouraged to mingle :)
  

this post was brought to you by نادي كفرسوم. we used to be called the black horse of the league by محمد المعيدي و عثمان القريني Now we suck.
and by عطية من المناهل
احب الركض و السباحة و الدراجة الهوائية. انا اسمي عطية، انا اسمي عطية

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Jordan's Invisible hand

Scandals rock the country every now and then. protesters are beaten, corruption is the norm, and huge mishaps that affect the very sense of decency in a country the size of a pea pod.
people get pissed, damn the government, and yearn to a savior to rescue them from the mess they support and help create. That savior appears just as often as those scandals and beatings happen.
It's an invisible hand that has a presence, although not a physical one. it's a mechanism just like in free markets theory, except in this case there is nothing free. the hand works to relieve the tension with exhibits of generosity, assures the public that fairness is the goal, and promotes patriotism. it promises action, transparency, and progress. it promises justice and rallies the people to work for a future so dim and dark it started already appearing in the blackness of the beaten eyes.
This hand is said to be loved by the masses, but the truth couldn't be any further.

I am mab3oos and I approved this message

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This day in History. One hell of a day!

12 years ago, today, I was packing and saying my goodbyes to family and friends. I was buzzing with excitement to start a new life. I was happy to be on my way to independence.
I left a Jordan that has been ruled by a King and a beautiful Queen.
I left a Jordan that was suffering from many chronic economical problems.
I left a country where tribes are the political parties.
I left a country and people that blamed most of their lack of development on the Zionists.
I left a country that tortures high school students and every year promises with a revamped system.
I left a country with no real freedom of speech or freedom of assembly.
I left a country with a huge income inequality between its people.
I left a country with widespread corruption in public and private sectors.
I left a country with a gutless parliament.
I left a country where women are killed in the name of honor.
I left a country that has not a single university with respectable global reputation.
I left a country with a dependent judicial system
I left a country where people are still arrested for speaking their mind, and where the freedom of press ceiling is still waiting for that elusive contractor to raise it.

After 12 years, it still is. and that's why I am still mab3oos.

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My movie playlist for the rest of the year

The World's Greatest DadDespicable Me
White on Rice
Planet 51
Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs
The Informant!
Couples Retreat
And as always, you'll never read a review on this blog. People that review movies better be Roger Ebert or STFU :)

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How to get a Free "wink wink" iPhone/iPod touch App (rated 18+)

Download cooliris. its a free image search and viewing App. same as the firefox extension of the same name.Click on the "home" button to get to settings.
in the settings menu, click on "preferences"
In "preferences," turn off "Safe Search." (turn off history too!)
by the way, if you want to get screen shots (just like the above) on the iPhone/touch, just press the power button on top and, while it is pressed, press the only other button (the one on the front). the screen will turn white for less than a second and the screen shot will be saved in the Photos App that came pre-installed on the device.

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the funniest joke I [read] in a long time

في مرة طفيلي عزم واحد امريكي على منسف
فأكل الامريكي وقال زاكي هالمنسف علمني كيف بتساويه
فقاله الطفيلي بسيطة, ثانيا بتجيب رز
فقاله الامريكي طب شو اولا
فقاله الطفيلي الاردن اولا

it pays to go through mahjoob's Joke Zone every once in a while!

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Myth Busters Coming to Jordan

For its biggest challenge yet, the show will travel to Jordan to take its chances proving wrong some of the long held beliefs in the country. The decision was made after the stars of the show were in a bet with the producers that they can appeal to the minds of Jordanians and convince them to dispel some of their baseless beliefs. Some episodes of the first season were announced as follows:

Myth or Fact:

1. a son-in-law tears up when smelling onions means that his mother-in-law frightens him
2. putting your broom upside down makes your guests leave sooner
3. a wound heals faster when covered with coffee grounds
4. drinking from طاسة الرعبة calms down a frightened person
5. ignoring lane markings is the best way to drive
   
6. hearing a buzzing sound in your left ear means that someone is badmouthing you behind your back. In right ear, they are praising you
7. a kid sneezing while you're telling a story means that you're telling the truth
8. mab3oos is a bad word
   

the show will be aired this Fall immediately following the month of Ramadan as to not be labeled: خارج عن عاداتنا و تقليدنا و يهدف للإضرار بالوحدة الوطنية.

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Oxymoron?

Burlingame, CA

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Guess who is cooking?

here

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Business is slow at Royal Jordanian Airlines!

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Will Arabs learn something from Hondurans?

So, Manuel Zelaya, the deposed Honduran president merely suggested changing the constitution to allow him to run for president for another term. They raided his palace, woke him up, and kicked him out of the country, while still in his pajamas. here

in the Arab World:

• Hashemites have been ruling Jordan since 1921
• Mubarak has been ruling Egypt since 1981
• Al Saud have been ruling Saudi Arabia since 1932
• Al Assads have been ruling Syria since 1970
• Saleh has been ruling Yemen (or part of it) since 1978
• Al Basheer has been ruling Sudan since 1989
• Qaddafi has been ruling Libya since 1969
• Alaouis have been ruling Morocco since 1666
  
• Bin Ali has been ruling Tunisia since 1987
• Al Sabah been ruling Kuwait since 1752
• Bouteflika has been ruling Algeria since 1999
• Al Khalifa have been ruling Bahrain since 1783
• Al Thani family has been ruling Qatar since 1825
• Abu Said's have been ruling Oman since 1749
• Al Nahyan have been ruling UAE since 1793

mab3oos celebrates:
February 30th: Democracy Day in the Arab World.

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What's the Jordanian Dream?

In these tougher economic times, many are losing faith in the American Dream. This Dream has evolved for centuries, since the founding of the country, into the basic concept of living a comfortable life. That includes, but not limited to, having a job that pays enough to support a comfortable lifestyle, as in owning a car, a house, and the ability to afford leisure times sporadically. Despite its many variations, and the evolution of its definition, the American Dream is still very much attainable relative to other parts of the World, which brings me to Jordan:

How do you define the Jordanian Dream?
(not to be confused with the Arab Dream, below)

mohanned just tweeted this article, which describes the dream for many in Jordan.

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The Evolution of Jordanian/Palestinian Family Names

1. family names in Jordan used to be the name of the senior family/tribe member or their ancestor, such as Bani Hasan, Al Fayez, and Kraishan (بني حسن، الفايز، كريشان)
2. Then the naming became geographic, such as Nabulsi, karaki, Al Ajlouni (النابلسي، الكركي، العجلوني)
3. Next, naming took on occupations as a convenient mean to identify a family, such as Haddad, Najjar, Hakim (حدّاد، نجّار، الحكيم)

Genealogy experts predict one of two to happen to the practice of family names in the Levant:

1. People would either abolish family names altogether, obliterate nepotism, and usher in an era of meritocracy.
2. Or new family names would adapt to new occupations as to continue with #3 above. So, it would be normal to see this wedding announcement:
   

أفراح آل البرمجية و آل كلشي ببريزة

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The Jordanian Legacy

These days we look back at those that inhibited the Jordanian land and admire their achievements. The Nabataeans built a whole city inside mountains. A city that still stands until today with people from around the world coming over to experience its magnificence. The Romans built cities filled with structures that we still celebrate, and quite frankly, are unable to replicate, such as the grand theaters. The Romans had also constructed an extensive network of water canals that helped in remedying water shortages in the area. History is filled with examples of greatness in what is now Jordan.

When someone, a thousand years from now, opens up an information medium (I am not sure books or computers will be the sources of information as they are now),

What will s/he appreciate and admire about the achievements of today's Jordan?

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A bad year for Jews in America

news keep pouring of Jews being implicated, arrested, and convicted in the US:

• Bernard Madoff defrauded clients of $65 Billion
• Ezri Namvar in debt for $1 Billion
• Stuart Dreier charged with $700 Million scheme
• Arthur Nadel indicted on 15 counts of fraud and others
• And today a few Rabbis were arrested on money laundering

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What will the Jordanian Revolution be called?

Green Revolution, Iran, 2009.
Cedar Revolution ( ثورة الأرز ), Lebanon, 2005
Orange Revolution, Ukraine, 2004.
Rose Revolution, Georgia, 2003.
Velvet Revolution, Czechoslovakia, 1989.
Singing Revolution, Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania, 1987.

Jordan?
Mansaf, Rainbow Street, حيّ معصوم Revolution?

mab3oos supports the efforts of the, often neglected, Center For Strategic Studies.

[Jordanians]’s rejection of political authoritarianism is evident in its absolute rejection of “a political system ruled by a strong authority that makes decisions without considering election results or opposition opinions.” source

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كوكو

تقدم لكم هذه المدونة برعاية صالون حبّول

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What's so great about Jordan?

help me out here.
I understand that people should have some pride in their own countries. But, I just don't get it. Jordan is no where near the best at anything positive, constructive, or progressive. May be we do, compared to Zimbabwe. But not if it's a meaningful global comparison.
After reading Ammar's and Nas' posts, I figured we need to have to look at our state logically with no emotions attached to assess where the country is heading and what should be done.

The question is: What do you like about Jordan that is so unique?

note: please no BS about security, hospitality, or moderation. مش زي إللي كذب الكذبة و صدقها!

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לך את האפשרות של ירוק---أخضر يا خيار

this whole Israeli agricultural products in Jordan shows how unsophisticated the Jordanian consumer is; how little they know of their rights; how uneducated their actions are when faced with challenges; how little they now about organizing action; and how little regard they have of their buyer power.

As per the Peace Treaty, the government cannot stop these products from entering the country. this government of numb nuts cannot, however, force you, my dear بطاطا buyer, to buy any product in particular. Therefore, here's what you can do:

• get organized with your neighbors and find out the source of products sold at your local خضرجي
• look into buying directly from farmers in the Jordan Vally. You could do your shopping once a week, save some money, and benefit the farmer in the process
• refrain from buying products that are not known to be grown in Jordan.
  

Money talks only when using your brains. Boycotting Starbucks, which is owned by Arabs employing Arabs and only pay a minimal franchise fee to the company, is not the same as boycotting all American based businesses that have somehow supported Israel one way or another. So, by following a simple supply-demand strategy, you can make it unprofitable for these products to be brought into the country once and for all.

mab3oos supports the efforts of smart people.
If you're an imbecile, الله لا يقيمك

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Why Iran's Revolution is Green

• Kermit "Kim" Roosevelt Jr. orchestrated a coup that brought the Shah to power in Iran in 1953
  
• That's Kermit as in Kermit the Frog
• Kermit the frog is Green
• Green was adopted by Iranians as a reminder of those dark times!

This post was brought to you by the نسيم ابو خضير foundation
our goal: a longer Friday!

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a long, thought provoking title (Failsali-Wihbad)

the post comes in here with an introduction that eases in the breaking (made up) story. Meh...It's frustrating to have many ideas but lacking the proper delivery. The style to let loose of these ideas I have has eluded me for the past few days.

I wanted to talk about the recent confrontations at the Failsali-Wihbad game, but thought my original way of portraying the profound racism in the Arab culture would be a sure way to anger a few. May be if I refine the idea a little it would just drive the point home instead of unleashing ignorance and deep rooted imbecility of some self righteous, know it all personalities.

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The Best Arab/Middle Eastern food related Stores in the San Francisco Bay Area

دليل العرب is a nice little specialized yellow pages type, ad filled directory of Arab businesses in all major Arab concentrations in the US. However, and since it is all Ads, it is not a reliable source of how these business are run and how they treat their customers, Arabs or others. I have heard many horror stories, and experienced some myself, at some of these businesses. This list is just a few of the stores that offer the typical Middle Eastern selection of food and grocery items:

• Samir Amis, San Francisco, is by far my favorite. Items in this store range from صابونة تعامة to daily delivered fresh baked pita bread, and from the latest music albums to most spices and canned goods you will ever think of. They even have actual Jameed, not the سائل variety. The store owner, Samir, is a great guy, though his son is a little snobbish.
• International Food Bazaar, San Jose, is one place that mimics the actual Middle Eastern grocery experience. Although the place is tiny and gets crowded if more than 2 customers are inside, you will find all you need in one stop. From an on location halal butcher to a bread section of all kinds, and from a special section for olives and other pickled stuff to an outside area of fresh vegetables and fruits that are most likely not found at Safeway and the like, the store is well stocked.
  
• Truly Mediterranean, San Francisco, is the best place for Shawerma ever. This place puts Reem to shame, specially with the Mexican cook yelling obscene insults in Arabic at friends of the owner! they have a great minty yogurt/garlic drink that tastes a lot better than it sounds and a great falafel with fried eggplants wrap. the place is very popular, although it is tiny. A few bar stools and a lone table outside.
  
• Falafel Drive in, San Jose, is the best place for falafel in the South Bay. They're the only ones, that I know of, serving Fool in the area, and it is good. the place is very popular and almost always has a line. It is not a drive in, but seating is mostly outside under awnings.
  
• Waterfront Pizza, Foster City, despite the pizza in the name, people go in for the Hookahs and to enjoy the relaxing atmosphere overlooking the water. Aside from a large percentage of pretentious Arabs, this place is great. in addition to the usual Middle Eastern cuisine, the pizza, is really good.
  
• Sindbad, San Mateo, is the place for home made style meals. Manasf, ma7ashi, and msa5an are some of their offerings. I don't frequent this restaurant often, but it is the substitute to the falafel types.
• Sunrise Deli, San Francisco, is the best place for falafel ever. Better than that of Amman, I promise. Although the place suffered somehow since the change of ownership a few years ago, the falafel recipe is still the same.

mab3oos supports the efforts of the

Jordanian American Association in [south] San Francisco

"our goal is to have a newsletter once every 3 years!"

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Google Announces Arabs Only Social Networking Site

In the race to expand Internet services globally, and to capitalize on the Social Networking craze, Google announced a departure from the "one size fits all" western social networking portals by launching Aish-Ya.com: a site specially tailored to suit the growing internet usage by youth in Arab countries. The site will have the following features:

• connections are called Habibi, as in "mab3oos has 2 new Habibi requests"
• Female users will have a male relative as a guardian co-user
• a special App for conspiracy theories
• all users will have counters for forwarded prayers and religious posts
  
• profile photos will require two witnesses to testify their authenticity
• the wall would be in the form of a forum (Arabs are so in love with forums!)
• Servers will be run through a proxy as a default to prevent blocking by local governments
  
• an app to organize fights on college campuses
• connections are to be classified as: actual cousin, distant cousin, and cousin.
  
• status updates will have these as optional reactions: أعطيها، غُص بالك، جدع، ياي

this post was brought to you by a generous donation from
شركة بلاستيك الشرق/عابدين
makers of the Original Samba Plastic Chairs

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play Arcade Games (ضراغمة!) from the comfort of your computer

"Handsome fighters never lose battles" -Vega!

Here.

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BREAKING: New Prime Minister to use eHarmony in forming government

In his efforts to form a government that will sure work as a solid team in tackling chronic issues that has long plagued Jordanians' lives, new prime minister فرحان ابو صرة, decided to employ the popular matching website in forming his cabinet. The news came as a shock to prospective nominees as they were urged to vacate the chair they sat in waiting for that phone call and head to their computers to create a profile at eHarmoney.com to be considered for a position.

mab3oos supports the efforts of the صراصير حُبِنا foundation

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Another Proof Saudi Arabians Evolve in the opposite direction

News of a Saudi Family suing a Genie for theft and harassment support the case that Saudis take one step forward two steps back.

What's next? Burning witches?

this post was brought to you by a generous donation from the
Saudi "إطعم الثم بتستحي العين" Foundation in Washington

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Is Obesity Attractive?

According to laws of Physics, every person is surrounded by its own gravitational field, which exerts an attractive force on all others. For any relatively Obese person, the strength of this attraction at any given point is proportional to the body's weight and inversely proportional to the square of the distance from the center of the body.

The strength of this field of attraction is numerically equal to the hotness of people within its surrounding area, denoted g, is approximately expressed below as the standard average.

g = 9.8 m/s² = 32.2 ft/s²

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Boobies

here

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Queen Rania Advertises on Facebook!

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الحكومة الاردنية تطلق حملة إستحي على دمك

في جهود لتنظيف الشوارع وتطبيق القوانين المتعلقة بالأماكن العامة ، قررت الحكومة الاردنية اطلاق حملة اعلانية تهدف الى توعية الرأي العام من التأثيرات السلبية لبعض المعتقدات والتقاليد التي قد أدت في الاونة الاخيرة إلى تردي الاوضاع الصحية و البيئية في العديد من مناطق المملكة. الحملة ستستمر لمدة شهر كامل ، وستترك علامتها بالتنفذ الفعّال و الصارم للقوانين واللوائح ، مثل تلك المتعلقة برمي القمامة والتدخين في الأماكن العامة.

وقالت مصادر في وزارة الداخلية و الأمن العام في تصريح لمبعوص ان عناصر من كِلا الجهتين سوف يتم نشرها في مناطق معروفة باقبال المواطنين وعلى الشوارع والطرق السريعة في جميع أنحاء المملكة. أما بالنسبة للعقوبات والمخالفات اوضحت المصادر نفسها انه لن يكون هنالك تحرير لأي مخالفات بل سيتم رفش بطن المواطن الهامل في نفس وقت إرتكاب الخطأ على ان يبوس التوبة امام جميع المواطنين الحاضرين لانه و بكل صراحة، المواطن الاردني مواطن وقح ما بيستاهل غير البهدلة و قلة القيمة

تُقدم هذه المدونة برعاية شركة الروسان و مازن أبو سيدو لتركيب الاباجورات

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what is love?

Isn't it weird that people come up with these similes describing two totally different things to prove a point or, in the case of the romantic ones, sound cheesy? Take this one for example: Love is like a river. it cuts a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.

how about this one: A prostitute is like a butterfly. it suck the nectar from a flower after another!
hear it here.

this post was brought to you by the support of the عايدة و وائل ابو نوّار foundation.

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Why Ammon News is Popular

the launch of Ammonnews has defined a new era of how Jordanians get their news and, more important, how to voice their opinions, and god how much opinions Jordanians have! I believe, however, that Ammon has been providing the news that people care about. The average people of Jordan. From scandals to government's shortcomings, and from bolder column writers to more space dedicated to letters from the general public, the site, even with it's own self censorship policy, has ushered in a divergence from the more traditional, royal court/government controlled Alrai and company.

In a way, Ammon is doing to Alrai what Imad Hajaj did to the lame cartoons of جريدة الشعب. By allowing the public to comment on news stories, they're raising the ceiling on freedom of expression. Although the comments on the site are cleaned and a lot of the ones that reflect the true feelings of Jordanians are replaced with the word نعتذر, the site still allows for cleared portrayal of the way Jordanians feel about the miserable state of the all three branches of Government.

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IBM Computer Ad from 1981. "High Resolution Graphics!"

with a whopping 40K bytes of memory!

source

mab3oos supports the efforts of the محمص شاهين foundation.
"toasting and salting one seed at a time"

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Why the Parliament should lock out the incompetent Jordanian Press

The question is: what good has this lame ass media done that warrants them a place to report from the Parliament building (or any other place for that matter)?

Nothing.

Jordanian media

• is as corrupt as the next fat ass Jordanian government official
• lacks the basics in professional journalism
• lacks the balls to investigate and report
• is more of an ass-kissing machine than of news reporting and analysis
• does more copy and paste than all Jordanian college students put together
• is a mouth piece for Petra news, which is the same for the government
• acts as the personal blog, vlog, and twitter client of their majesties and the government
• has never questioned King's actions. he would love a challenge. Believe me. if you get in trouble, just say "I was kidding!"

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stages in life defined by music

it's amazing how memories come back to mind the moment you hear a tune or a song that was on your list in the past. it's the same as when memories are sparked by a smell of some scent. So, here it is:

• The very early years in Jordan included the usual Egyptian singers عمر دياب، حميدي الشاعر، إيهاب توفيق، هشام عبّاس، مصطفى قمر and some other Syrian and Lebanese singers, such as راغب علامة، جورج وسوف، نجوى كرم، of the Jordanian singers of that era: إبراهيم خليفة، محمد وهيب، غزلان، عبد الحافظ الخوالدة،
• the high school years included some of the above, especially the Egyptian ones, some gulfers, such as عبد المجيد عبد الله، a few Iraqis, such as كاظم الساهر، and the introduction of English music with Ace of Base, the Eagles, and Michael Jackson.
• The early years in the US kept on Arabic music but with a different genre. ام كلثوم و عبد الحليم فيروز became more of the preference and other genres came into play. Yanni, Kenny G, and George Michael were dominant. However, the entrance of Putumayo collections shifted my taste away from English language music and more into Spanish.
  
• later years in the US strengthened the previous stage's Arabic music due to enhanced sense of longing to the homeland. However, the Spanish part was also given prominence. It was, and still is, a lot of fun and linguistically beneficial.
  
• the current stage maintains the same Arabic above and features more of the Spanish language singing, in various genres though. Mana, Juanes, and Calle 13 are favorites along some gay Spaniard named Alejandro Sanz.

check out my music channel for some great tunes!

this post was brought to you by تسجيلات الساحل

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San Francisco on the 4th of July

that's the view of downtown SF from twin peaks.
Fireworks?

Well, due to my amazing skills at taking photos of fireworks and the high end, very expensive camera I was using, I have decided not include those photos here for fear of عين الحسود!

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the Best of Seinfeld

here is the whole series instead.

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Religion Salesmen? How would this TV Show go.

A new game show on Turkish television will pit rabbis, imams, monks and priests against each other in an attempt to convert sworn atheists to their respective religions.

The Pitch:
Rabbi: with us no body will ever make fun of your religion. If they do, they would be labeled antisemitic and will never be successful in politics; you'll very likely be guaranteed a lucrative profession; and you will always be welcome to immigrate to any western country by claiming religion discrimination.

Monk: I can't compete with that. my whole damn religion is based on minimalistic living!

Priest: you will never fall down. You'll be like a human Segway. 2 Peter 1: 10-11

Imam: 4 wives any one?

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New Crown Prince. let the Jokes Begin!

I remember 10 years ago, when Prince Hamza had just been named Crown Prince, People told many jokes due to his young age:

• They are replacing the star in the Jordanian flag with Micky Mouse!
• Parliament won't hold session before 2pm because The Crown Prince would be still in school
• No late government meetings on school nights!
  

At the time Prince Hamza assumed the title he was 19 years old. Although older than his father when ascended the throne at 17, Hamzah was also a teenager. Now, that Prince Hussein is Crown Prince at 15, I only imagine the jokes that are to be told behind closed doors.

Will Spacetoon be rescheduled?

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finally got me the Simpsons stamps

this post was brought to you by the support of El Barto productions.
a division of ¡Ay, caramba! Entertainment.

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